CHISTES

julio 6, 2012 in Chistes

Me tiráo toa la noshe pintando, ¡pisha!, pero ha meresío la pena.Verás el cabreo cuando se despierte el Caruana de los coj….s
Me he gastáo una pasta en Titanlux, pero hay cosas que no tienen precio…

GIBRALTAR ESPAÑOL.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

VENDEDOR AMBULANTE.

Un vendedor ambulante le dice a su mujer: – Amor, vendí 3 colchones y 20 bragas !!! Hice 500 Euros !!!
Y la esposa dice: – Pues yo con 1 colchón y sin bragas hice 7.000 Euros !! Así que ¡¡Ponte las pilas!!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

PARA DEPORTISTAS.

 

llevo media hora detrás y no he adelgazado ni un gramo.

************************************************************************************************************************

Este viernes hay Consejo de Ministros, así que, a la hora del Telediario,
más vale estar en posición de preparados.


 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Muy buenos primeros auxilios.

 

Una señora, con su hijito de 10 años, está comiendo en un restaurante.

En un descuido, el chico se mete una moneda en la boca y se atraganta.

La madre intenta hacerle escupir la moneda golpeándole la espalda, dándole palmadas en el cuello, sacudiéndolo, sin éxito.

El chico ya comienza a dar muestras de asfixia y la madre, desesperada,
comienza a gritar pidiendo auxilio.

Un señor se levanta de una mesa cercana, y con pasmosa tranquilidad, sin decir palabra alguna, le baja los pantalones a la criatura, toma sus pequeños testículos, los aprieta con fuerza, y tira hacia abajo
violentamente.

Automáticamente, el niño -ante el dolor irresistible- escupe la moneda, y el señor, con la misma pasmosa tranquilidad con la que se acercó, regresa a su mesa sin decir palabra.

Al rato, la señora, ya tranquilizada, se acerca para agradecerle que haya salvado la vida a su hijo, y le pregunta:

– ¿Usted es médico?

– No señora, SOY FUNCIONARIO DE HACIENDA  experto en tocar los cojones hasta sacar la última moneda

 

 

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